Thursday, November 8, 2012

NaBloPoMo for November 8th, 10 things I hate to hear

Light comedy.  On some days, I'll just empty myself after people watching; and after I've filtered the sense from the nonsense, The Diva Journals get all the nonsense poured out into it.  Word vomit if you will.

There are 10 things that I absolutely hate to hear people say, and if I'm in earshot of you and I hear you say one of these, you will immediately get a scrunched up nose, some squinted eyes with pursed lips attached to an appalled face glaring at you.

  • I'm doing da damn thang. People really.  What the hell is this? If what you have accomplished or about to accomplish is so huge, it really is o.k. to be excited and have other people excited for you.  Know what else is o.k.? just say "I've got my breakthrough" or "I've received a blessing" -I'm glaring at you.
  • Oh no you didn't! Listen.  If you witnessed it, or you heard it, then yes they did.  Stop acting astonished! is this the only thing that came to your mind to say and are you apposed to asking "is there a problem" -I'm glaring at you.
  • I'm bout it.  Excuse me?  You're what? Please stop using this as a filler when there is nothing else to say.  If you're willing to participate in something that is going on, just say so! -I'm glaring at you.
  • I'm grown! don't nobody tell me what to do.  And within two minutes of you saying this, you say "mama! can you come pick me up?" Sorry, you're not grown, know what you are though?  you're an adult toddler! you're potty trained, but that's all!  -I'm glaring at you.
  • I don't have to be here, I could be somewhere else.  I hear this one the most while I'm waiting in line at the supermarket to be checked out.  Really? Where else could you possibly be right now besides here?  and why aren't you there if you don't have to be here?  Oh is it because you need this paycheck? Then guess what?  you need to be here earning it! so shut up and check me out! -I'm glaring at you.
  • This just me, this who I am. No.  No.  This is just wrong, and so are you. There is a thing called change.  And you're afraid of it! Afraid there may be something better to become than what you are at this moment.  All change is not bad. You should try it sometimes. -I'm glaring at you.
  • You didn't hear this from me.  Yes i did!  You just said it!  Oh, i get it.  You're a gossip, and you want to tell, but you don't want to be held accountable for telling. Stop talking so much miserable person!  -I'm glaring at you.
  • You think you're better than everybody else. Stop it! Here's a little secret.  The person who says that thinks that everybody else is better than them. If a person is really making you feel this way, or is treating you unfairly, YOU are allowing it.  Whatever or whomever that septic tank is in your life has busted, it's time for all new plumbing.  You deserve it. In the meantime, -I'm still glaring at you
  • Psst.  Psst.  What cho name is?   Not the way to get attention guys.  If I get caught glaring at you because you are doing this, my response to you is going to be "no speka da english", and obviously you don't either, because you can't say "hello, what's your name?".  -still glaring at you. sideways though.
  • I'm Highly blessed. Then why are you looking highly stressed like a hot mess?  Listen.  People who are highly blessed, not only say the part, they look the part.  They represent God and his blessings well.  So before you say that out in public, sashaying past whomever's attention you've caught, and while walking on the back of your shoes, sportin three inch nails, four inch lashes, colorful hair and eyes that were purchased...You know what.  Don't even do it, cause right about now, I'm glaring at you.

No comments:

Post a Comment