Thursday, May 19, 2016

Raising My Own Awareness

I am going to stop entertaining your dumb shit.  All its doing is creating complete disorder and confusion, resulting in more loss of my peace.  I’m going to stop being stuck on whatever the hell kind of stupidity you’re attempting to release into the realm of calm and gratitude I’ve chosen to be a part of.  

Get the hell out.  You don’t belong here.  You can’t even mentally afford a membership. You’re not stable. You’re prone to change, fail or give away at any minute.  You’re rocky, wobbly, and volatile, you’re playing it close to the line of being deranged, demented, unhinged, and mentally disturbed. 

I swear I keep ignoring the signs. I see you coming a mile away. See because even though you believe you’re tiptoeing with all the drama you bring, it’s quite the contrary. You noisy as hell. You’re a vampire, just waiting in the dark to suck the life out people, and leave them for dead.  Cause you’re dead.  Sure you’re walking around breathing, but you’re dead.  You’re no longer alive mentally. You’re cruel, unfeeling, uncaring, cold, lifeless and miserable. That’s not the sad part; the sad part is you don’t even realize it.  You just keep waiting for somebody, anybody, to make you come alive again just by walking along side you in your foolishness.  Somebody to okay your unacceptable behavior.  

Oh did I mention the foot soldiers that started your journey with you are growing increasingly tired and noncommittal?  Why?  Because like others before them, who were once advocates of your crap, they too are growing weary from the lack of love and support you are now showing them.  They’re almost crawling on all fours from the stench of your attitude.  You see because you are the head, the body that is following you in your mess is decaying, and there’s nothing you care to do about it.  Your cheerleading squad is slowly dying off.  Their moves are weak.  Their two-legged stunts, and high flying basket tosses have turned into a mere pitter-patter. Your mask has come off, and you bout an ugly MOFO.

So where does that leave a fool like me? I now again have to press restart on my odometer.  I have to push pause and realize that God does not give me my peace to lose it to foolishness. Now I have to go backwards and gather myself so I can move forward.  I fell short.  I digressed a little from His original plan. I’m grateful He didn’t allow me to drift very far from where He started me.  So in no time, I’ll be back up. I will ascend, and once again mount up and rise to the occasion. This is my Public Service Announcement. This is my message. This is me raising my own awareness.