Tuesday, February 28, 2017

10 Things you can’t do when rent is due!

Yes, this is me emptying my disturbed psyche.  I follow this comedian LaToya James, Redbone2fly, (@toya_turnup) on Instagram and her hilarious compilations of that time of the month when RENT DUE!

Some may call it mindless entertainment, however we all know there are some out there who seriously contemplate doing other things with money versus paying rent.  So I’ve come up with a list of ten things that absolutely cannot be done when RENT IS DUE!

1. Purchase the bundled deal of Malaysian hair.  No deep wave, no body wave, no straight, no curly, NONE of that.  Rent due

2. Eat steak and shrimp at the most upscale upmarket steak house chain.  You gotta go to Kroger and get some marked down tilapia.  Rent due

3. Get the gel nail manicure from the nail salon.  You gotta get the $8 manicure; actually you can’t get a manicure.  Rent due

4. Ball out in the local strip club.  Sorry, can’t make it rain tonight, gotta put that five hun towards the rent. It’s due

5. Shoe shop.  No sneakers, no sandals, no boots (oh the DSW boot sale), no heels, and no flats.  Not even from the sale section.  BOGO is still off limits; you still gotta buy.  Rent due

6. Be the town’s cake daddy.  Can’t be consumed with that female this week.  You’ve abandoned your friends, and they’re the ones who will help you get back on your feet when you give all the women money without looking for anything in return.  Go home, spend time alone.  Watch t.v.  ALONE.  Rent due

7. Happy Hour.  That’s right.  You can’t do happy hour.  “oh but a glass of wine is usually $8, but during happy hour it's reduced to $5.”  AND? It’s a discount, it’s not free, which takes us back to number 5, you still gotts to pay.  Rent due

8. Go to the movies. $21 dollars in some theaters just for a ticket, without popcorn.  Go to Redbox, rent it for $1.50, or Netflix it for $7 a month.  Watch that sucka all you want.  Sit it down.  Rent due

9. Clubin.  Not tonight.  Tell your home girl go on without you; unless her rent due too, and in that case you both staying in.  Rent due

10. No cruising on the strip.  No driving back and forth on the same street.  You’re adding to the congestion of the area anyway.  You can’t afford to be part of the cruising culture tonight.  You better saved that gas for next week, cause rent due.

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