Dear Diary. I have to let you know that sometimes I feel a little selfish about not being as much of a people person as most of my friends and loved ones, and sometimes it's a challenge to be in their midst for more that a couple of hours before my mind starts to wonder what new novel releases are out, or what my next scrapbook page will be about.
You see I like to take walks, and just think. I like to listen to the settling of the house when my children and grandchildren are not visiting. I like putting my thoughts to paper. I must admit I feel some kind of way when a person insist I "share my thoughts". Excuse me, they're my thoughts, get your own! LOL.
You must wonder if I was the kid who didn't have friends, and if I am the adult who still doesn't have any; or if I was the kid who was never picked when they played Red Rover Red Rover. Actually I have been blessed with a huge circle of friends, and I did get picked in the playground games, I just would rather have been reading a book on the bench or swings instead.
You see, I'm an introvert. Carol Bainbridge wrote an article on About.com that explains me to a tee. She said
"Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to "recharge." When introverts want to be alone, it is not, by itself, a sign of depression. It means that they either need to regain their energy from being around people or that they simply want the time to be with their own thoughts. Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can prevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective. Being introspective, though, does not mean that an introvert never has conversations. However, those conversations are generally about ideas and concepts, not about what they consider the trivial matters of social small talk."
I'm truly grateful to God that my friends and my family love me unconditionally. And I love them. They have learned to recognize when I get that look in my eyes. My mom calls it "she needs a nap" time. I call it, "my inner me expressing me" time.
What can I say. I'm happy being me. Spontaneity. That's the word that pops into my mind as I'm talking to you Diary. I'll try it more often.