Cruising social media a few days ago and the instant messenger icon pops up on my screen. Uuggh. Who is this? I begrudgingly ask. I often get messages through social media, and I hate receiving messages from the ones who use it as their personal eHarmony dating site.
It starts the same way every time. “Hi stranger! It’s been 20 something years since I last saw you. What’s going on in your life? I see the pictures you post and you look awesome.” Then, they’ll drop in a memorable line like “I use to have such a huge crush on you.” Oh boy, here goes. So I will give a wide berth to that one line and act as if I didn’t see it. But almost and as if it were in queue, the “how bout we get together” line eloquently spills from within. I’m not trying to be anti-social, but hey, I DO NOT DATE MARRIED MEN.
There have been times in my younger years where wisdom seemed to be something maybe obtainable in my older years….far, far away. Well guess what? far, far away got close really, really quick, and wisdom is something I rely heavily upon now. I’m not that young silly girl who did the crazy stuff anymore. I’m the grown mature woman who knows what it takes to live a life of happiness and joy…substantial joy. And so we’re clear, let me say I find it offensive, and not mildly when you make me up in your mind to be side piece material. Remember I’m the one who’s the catch. You’ve already been caught. I’m the one who’s single, not you.
Now I am not bashing men, because I have many, many wonderful male friends and our friendships are strictly platonic. But then there are some… let’s just say their approach is detrimental to the meaning of gentleman.
And Ladies, we are guilty of this too. Guilty of overstepping our boundaries and making ourselves think we are superior to the pain we sometimes feel. We can and often do set the tone of our relationships. We need to understand it is not acceptable for married people to date outside of their marriage.
There are a lot of things we wear for people to see. The latest in styles and fashions adorn us every day. We need to start wearing our standards like we would the latest pair of Nike Black Air Jordan 6 Retros or Christian Louboutin luxury French red bottoms.
The Public service announcement is this: respect others and ourselves. This is a lesson that if we have to learn the hard way, it will not feel good. Take it from somebody who knows. I am not just sitting on my soapbox spewing lines for a blog. I’ve lived this life. It’s the same road traveled by many with the same destination: doom failure, misery and guilt. Don’t know about you, but I’d rather walk it out. Think it out. Live it out. Be better. Do better. Have better.