What Really Bothering Me

You ever have those days where you feel like you really do understand what was eating Gilbert Grape? I do.  Actually the last several weeks have been plague with concern after concern about my surroundings, this world I live in, my life and wellbeing and that of others too. 

So I’m clear let me put out this disclaimer.   I am not complaining.  I am however very grateful for my life, the spirit I’ve been given, and the time I have here to share.  So please don’t hit me with the “you should be grateful” speech or the “well at least you have this or that” speech.  I am well aware of how blessed I am to have a pulse this morning.

But some things are really bothering me.

Over the last several weeks, several people that I know have gone on to be with the Lord, and one friend’s son went home to be with Jesus.  Seeing the people I care for dealing with grief and the loss of their loved ones make me stop and take stock.  I’m hoping that my prayers though genuine and from my heart help in some small way to bring comfort.  

The A.M. and P.M. news give us plenty to be concerned about; the social injustices, the racial discriminations, U.S. Supreme Court decisions; these tensions tend to wear even the best activist thin on good days. The pot is past brewing, it’s boiling over.

My family is expecting grandchild number 3.  Expected arrival is in about 2 ½ months.  I shudder to think what my grandbabies will have to look forward to by the time they are age 30.  They should be looking at it as a milestone that represents new beginnings.  They should have enjoyed their “extended adolescences” by this time.  But will they? I just don’t know.  

Serious illnesses and disease has stricken a member of my family.  I know because I believe that total victory and complete healing and restoration is coming.  Without a doubt he will be healed, but it happened.  Many can, will and do say that this was a type illness mainly due to a form of self-destruction; however if this is true, it really bothers me because what does the mind of a person who has self-destructive behavior look like?  Does it look like the face of my love one?  No, because I recognize him when I look at him.  He looks the same he always has to me with the exception of the aging process.  So am I absorbed and oblivious to the passage of time, or am I choosing to not see and accept what’s really going on?

So much I tell you.  Is really bothering me.

Public Service Announcement

Cruising social media a few days ago and the instant messenger icon pops up on my screen.  Uuggh.  Who is this? I begrudgingly ask. I often get messages through social media, and I hate receiving messages from the ones who use it as their personal eHarmony dating site.  

It starts the same way every time.  “Hi stranger!  It’s been 20 something years since I last saw you. What’s going on in your life?  I see the pictures you post and you look awesome.” Then, they’ll drop in a memorable line like “I use to have such a huge crush on you.”  Oh boy, here goes.  So I will give a wide berth to that one line and act as if I didn’t see it.  But almost and as if it were in queue, the “how bout we get together” line eloquently spills from within.  I’m not trying to be anti-social, but hey, I DO NOT DATE MARRIED MEN. 

There have been times in my younger years where wisdom seemed to be something maybe obtainable in my older years….far, far away.  Well guess what? far, far away got close really, really quick, and wisdom is something I rely heavily upon now. I’m not that young silly girl who did the crazy stuff anymore.  I’m the grown mature woman who knows what it takes to live a life of happiness and joy…substantial joy.  And so we’re clear, let me say I find it offensive, and not mildly when you make me up in your mind to be side piece material. Remember I’m the one who’s the catch.  You’ve already been caught.  I’m the one who’s single, not you.  

Now I am not bashing men, because I have many, many wonderful male friends and our friendships are strictly platonic. But then there are some… let’s just say their approach is detrimental to the meaning of gentleman. 

And Ladies, we are guilty of this too.  Guilty of overstepping our boundaries and making ourselves think we are superior to the pain we sometimes feel. We can and often do set the tone of our relationships.  We need to understand it is not acceptable for married people to date outside of their marriage.    

There are a lot of things we wear for people to see. The latest in styles and fashions adorn us every day.  We need to start wearing our standards like we would the latest pair of Nike Black Air Jordan 6 Retros or Christian Louboutin luxury French red bottoms.  

The Public service announcement is this: respect others and ourselves.  This is a lesson that if we have to learn the hard way, it will not feel good.  Take it from somebody who knows.  I am not just sitting on my soapbox spewing lines for a blog.  I’ve lived this life.  It’s the same road traveled by many with the same destination: doom failure, misery and guilt.  Don’t know about you, but I’d rather walk it out.  Think it out.  Live it out.  Be better.  Do better.  Have better. 

-Peace. 

Age A'int Nothing But.....

Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. - Francis Bacon

Aging can be very stressful in the world today, especially if you have health problems, or other factors that may cause you to worry about becoming older.  I don't stress about it at all.  I turned 49 this year.  There are some things I'm still working hard to improve on, weight management being one of them, but overall, with the gray starting to come in and all I'm loving it.  

I took up running at 46.  First time ever in my life that I ran more than a minute straight...I'm not kidding.  I worked to get up to running five miles nonstop, and the first ailment I had from running was patellofemoral pain syndrome or runners knee.  My knee hurt for days, and I thought oh my goodness, I've waited too long, I've gotten too old to start this. Then worry set in.  Then I remembered I come from a long line of strong women.  My grandmother gave birth to my mother at the age of 46!, and on top of that, my grandfather was almost 20 years older than my grandmother when my mother was born.  My Aunt, my mother's sister was 70 years old when she got her drivers license.  They lived long lives, and they got along just fine adapting to a changing world.  Once that reality hit me of who I am and where I come from, I kicked worrying's ass out the door.  

I'm having the time of my life; I plan on sliding into 50 like MLB players slide into home, So don't try and block me or obstruct my way because if anything stands in my way, there is going to be a collision at home plate.

BOOM! take that worriation.

I'm A Priority

I’m taking steps to start making me and my happiness a priority. Over the last several weeks I’ve watched people in my life succumb to horrid situations because of desperation, fear and their insecurities.  My needs do matter.  

I’m being proactive in the unfolding of me. Warning! I’ve placed a higher value on myself, I’m taking better care of myself, and I’m sticking up for myself. I’m not going to diminish the light that shines within me anymore. If it’s too bright for you, don’t strain your eyes, take your shades and go get a glimpse of someone else’s rays.  Don’t hate on me because your UV protection is at risk of overexposure to my greatness.

It is possible to care for others AFTER I first care for myself; and If you don’t like that I put myself first and you second, then move out of line and see how happy the person who is third in line will be to know they are next in line for some of my time.

I’m going to help myself; then I will likely be far more capable of helping those who need me most.

March Madness!

Nope! This is not about the time period during the month of March when the NCAA basketball tournament is going on.  Gotcha!  It’s about the time period during the month of March when I’ve found some new loves to add to my collection of must haves. Of course there were a couple of single-eliminations during the process; there were some things I had (some as samples, some I purchased) that I didn’t like, so bye-bye they went.  However there were some I purchased that I plan to use for a long time to come.

Nourish Organic Argan Face Serum and Eye Cream – The Eye Cream provides hydration to the delicate skin around the eyes and the Face Serum restores moisture and revitalizes skin, brightens complexion.

EO Soothing Shower Gel and Body Lotion – I have the French Lavender scent in both of these; the aroma helps calm this ol body down to relax.  I love the pure essential oils and herbal blends used in these products as well.

Bath Petals Sicilian Blood Orange Salt Scrub – I use this a couple time of week in the AM.  It’s infused with energizing blood orange essential oils, helps wake up the skin! It exfoliates, but it leaves the body soft and smooth!   I follow up with Andalou Naturals Citrus Verbena Uplifting Body Lotion – This is an invigorating citrus lotion used to hydrate the skin.

Arbonne FC5 Deep Cleansing Mask-LOVE THIS!  It has a light citrus scent, and once you put it on (cleaned washed faced) it tightens, but you can feel it tingling as it reaches deep in the pored to clean the skin.  Awesome!

My toothbrush and candle were some goodies I picked up as a treat to myself because 1) I needed a new toothbrush (it’s been 3+ months), Are you guys replacing your toothbrushes!!! Frayed bristles will not clean those pearly whites and gums adequately. 2) I’m a candle whore.  What can I say? I just had to have one!

Taking Back You. Your Time And The Right People.

I’ve heard the saying “If you’re an eagle don’t hang with chickens cause chickens can’t fly.”  There’s another saying “Don’t spend major time with minor people.”  What does this mean? I’ll tell you.

We all have people in our lives, directly or indirectly who will either celebrate you or castigate you. The people who constantly break promises, lie to you, crush your dreams, demean you, deliberately diminish your potential, anyone that will cause you to remain in the line of hurt right behind them, are the canker sores of your life.  They are making your life painful and miserable, and if you don’t break the tie that binds, they will kill your spirit quicker than Clorox kills odor-causing bacteria.

Most of us ignore the people who are causing us pain. We just focus on the pain, hoping the people who are causing the pain will realize how they are hurting us and have some sort of empathy about it.  Nope.  It doesn’t work like that.  We have to look at the person, and see what they are choosing to operate in.  Look at how they are choosing to be a part of your life.  It’s their choice, and this will eventually force us to choose how we respond. We have to make the painful (and sometimes not so painful) choice to cut them loose. It took me a long, long time to realize this.  I had misplaced values of myself.  I was a brick wall badly burned with bricks missing, somehow still determined to stand. I had to make choices, and those choices left me free from the bondage of judgmental people who didn’t reflect the same values, interests, goals or ambitions as me.

I am a person who values connection.  When we click, we click. When we are friends, I value the interpersonal bond and association we have.  Look the word friend up in Merriam-Webster and my photo is right next to it, I’m not kidding! 

I remember a long time ago someone told me my address book would greatly change every year, and they were not lying.  When people walk out of my life now, I let them go, believing and knowing it is for the best, for both of us.  I use to associate the act of people leaving me with my self-worth.  Yup, like maybe I’m not worthy of being this to them, or that to them, in actuality, it’s nothing more than the time spent between you and them has come to an end, nothing more, nothing less.  It’s over. Things end, and this is probably one of them.  

I’ve learned that it is okay for people to leave.  I will be disappointed, and they’ll be disappointed in me. We will outgrow people in our lives, and sometimes people will outgrow us.  Okay so what’s next?  Where is my journey taking me now?  Those are the questions I had to ask myself and I had to learn to replace the doubt of my self-worth with the answers to these questions.

I am happy to know that God has given me people I enjoy, who love and appreciate me, and who encourage me to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They make me feel more alive.  They embrace who I am now, but they also embrace and embody who I want to be and will become, unconditionally, and me?  I reciprocate every last one of these kind and loving gestures, 100%.

Yes, it’s also important to be to people what you are expecting people to be to you. Be that friend that lifts them up and makes them smile.  Be that person that gives them different perspectives. Be that friend that lovingly points out when their outlook is a little skewed. Be the YOU to them that YOU want them to be to YOU.

More Randomness from my Word Cafe. 15 things I’ve learned already in 2015

Hi everyone!  Hope all is well with you.  I’m sitting here thinking (uh oh) and yes, my mind is ready to dump.  So as I pour my glass of red (Malbec), my favorite companion (my thoughts) and I are excited to share with you from my Word café. We’re only in the second month of 2015 and already I’ve learned more things.  Those who know me, know I can easily occupy myself with my own thoughts, but I’m not wanting to minimize my contact with others, so I’d like to take the time to share 15 things I’ve already encountered in 2015.

1. Time heals a broken heart, but you have to give time the time it needs to get the job done

2. I can’t rush through life’s events.  I have to slow down and experience every second of everything in order to learn the lesson

3. Prayer pushes away from you those obstacles which refuse to move away from you on their own

4. I’m good at what I’m good at, and what I’m bad at, practice makes perfect

5. It’s okay to mess up 

6. Organizational skills get you ahead.  Always

7. Grief comes in many, many forms

8. I can’t be willing to just work smarter than most, I have to be prepared to work harder than most

9. I’m a problem solver

10. I’m authentic, I love reinventing myself

11. I like being made to feel special.  Thus, I don’t mind making others feel special

12. Surrounding myself with likeminded people rejuvenates me

13. I don’t always have the answer, but someone somewhere does, and God will direct me to the answer and the person

14. Breathe. Refocus. Start again.  Three things that are a must in the repertoire of me

15. If I fall down seven times, I will stand up eight